taking cock not giving it is one of the hardest things to do

i watch sissy hypno everyday for hours its the only porn i watch so much so its blured my way of thinking i think of my self as a slut who gets fucked not the man who fucks the slut this had to happen sooner or later i blocked it out for years telling my self this was only a fetish i did alone not that it would become my life and the fetish was pretending it wasnt my life its the hardest journey ever i beleave its a curse that takes over and you have no choice but to live with it or end up dead trying not to do it the cost can not be put into words its different for everyone most love it and i bwish i did thats the best way i can describe it a virus that has killed my self respect my self worth and taken my man hood away that i can never get back all for the growing need to feel like a female in everyway a little more everyday i love females i dont think they have any issues its me who has them bigtime im broken a total sissy mess train wreck that never ends its my life now